When Values Feel Hard to Define: Understanding the Neural Blocks

In the process of discovering your values, you'll likely encounter moments where a particular value feels profoundly important, yet remains frustratingly difficult to articulate. Your brain seems to say, "This matters deeply to me," but the words to explain why simply evaporate when you try to define it.

This common experience has fascinating neurological underpinnings. When a value connects to emotionally charged memories or experiences, different parts of your brain activate simultaneously. The limbic system—responsible for emotional processing—lights up, while the prefrontal cortex—responsible for verbal expression and abstract thinking—may actually show decreased activity. This neurological tug-of-war can create what feels like a mental block.

There are several reasons why certain values prove challenging to define:

Deep emotional integration: When a value connects to a painful or complex experience, your brain's protective mechanisms may create distance between the cognitive understanding of the value and the emotional weight it carries. Your neural pathways have essentially created a shortcut that says, "This is important, but don't look too closely at why." This protective response served you once, but may now be limiting your self-understanding.

Unconscious embodiment: Some values become so thoroughly integrated into your identity that they operate below conscious awareness—like breathing or blinking. These embodied values shape your decisions automatically, through neural pathways that have become highly efficient through repetition. The challenge lies in bringing these unconscious drivers into conscious awareness.

Conceptual complexity: Many important values represent interconnected neural networks rather than singular concepts. Your brain may struggle to isolate and name something that exists as a complex web of associations, memories, and emotions rather than a discrete category.

When you encounter these blocks, don't force direct definition. Instead, engage different neural pathways through indirect exploration:

Narrative reflection: Ask yourself, "When have I felt this value being honored or violated?" Stories activate different brain regions than abstract thinking, helping bypass cognitive blocks.

Embodied awareness: Notice how your body responds when you contemplate this value. Does your breathing change? Do you feel tension or relaxation in certain areas? Somatic awareness engages the insula—a brain region that connects bodily sensations with emotional processing—creating alternative pathways to understanding.

Behavioral patterns: Identify concrete examples of this value in action. What choices have you made that might reflect this unnamed priority? Looking at behavioral patterns activates the striatum and other brain regions involved in habitual responses, offering clues about values that operate below conscious awareness.

Contrasting experiences: Sometimes we understand what we value by recognizing its absence. Reflect on situations where you felt misaligned or uncomfortable—these experiences often highlight values by their violation.

Through this multi-dimensional approach, you create new neural connections between your embodied understanding of a value and your conscious articulation of it. This integration process doesn't just name the value—it strengthens your ability to access and apply it intentionally in your life.